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The affect of our negligence..

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  Sometimes when I look at my children I feel sad for them.  Both of my boys really struggle in life.  My oldest son has a drinking problem. Seeing him drink the way he does breaks my heart because I caused him trauma at a young age and I see what's happening.  I hear him go on and on sometimes and deep down I know exactly what he's really saying and I know why. He puts on such a tough guy act and talks like he's big and bad with that "nobody can fuck with me" demeanor though he's actually the complete opposite of what he portrays.  He's the kindest, sweetest, most caring man. It's been blocked out of my mind for the last 16 years and now watching my son a long with the flashbacks that jolt in and out of my brain I've been trying to work through the hurt, guilt, and shame lingering within me.  About 2 years ago I began noticing past events coming to surface and I've had no choice but to endure those thoughts.  I've spent a lot of time cryin...
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Water your grass..

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 We sometimes like to think that the grass is always greener on the other side but the truth of the matter is that the grass will be greener wherever you water it.  A way to be thankful about a current situation is to think about the ways in which it could be worse.  Even when it seems as if it couldn't get much worse think about what it's like having a finger chopped off, or breaking both legs, or learning your child has a life threatening illness.. there are so many ways in which we could be in a situation that could have us begging to be only going through what we are right now.  Instead of wanting to tread on someone else's lawn try getting a water source and take care of your own. 
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Ad: Wirobound Spiral Notebooks

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no mess, no stress

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As I sit to ponder on it I've decided that people who are truly happy with themselves and their life are the ones that don't have much.  The less we have in our possession is the less we have to worry about. It makes me want to get rid of all these material items just taking up space in my apartment.  What causes me to keep memorabilia from farther back than I can even remember? The first few years of life are influenced so deeply by the behavior of the adult that is caring for us. Our influence at that age is so crucial to the rest of our lives.  It literally forms who we are to begin with and our experiences long after are how we grow and actually learn.  It takes a great loss for people to change who and what they are except for the vary rare ones who just want something bad enough that they decide to do whatever it takes to make it happen. The way I learn and the way I feel was programmed in me by way of the behavior of my parents when my brain was brand new. How...
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